Yes, I Named My Daughter Gaylord Focker. So Focking What!: (Over 1,000 Real Names of Real People) All Weird! - PDF free download eBook

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  • Published: 01.01.2019
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Introduction

This book is unusual because it is real. But, it may be the world's first unbook. There is little narration.It is a book of lists. There are few bona fide jokes unless you think that it is...

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Details of Yes, I Named My Daughter Gaylord Focker. So Focking What!: (Over 1,000 Real Names of Real People) All Weird!

Original Title
Yes, I Named My Daughter Gaylord Focker. So Focking What!: (Over 1,000 Real Names of Real People) All Weird!
Edition Format
ebook
Number of Pages
144 pages
Book Language
English
Ebook Format
PDF, EPUB

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Some brief overview of this book

This book is unusual because it is real. But, it may be the world's first unbook. There is little narration.

It is a book of lists. There are few bona fide jokes unless you think that it is funny for a parent to name her kid, "Martina Moron". Now, consider this information: Outraged customer ahead of me in a store.

Unreasonable business associate. Nothing that a good chuck This book is unusual because it is real. But, it may be the world's first unbook.

There is little narration. It is a book of lists. There are few bona fide jokes unless you think that it is funny for a parent to name her kid, "Martina Moron".

Now, consider this information: Outraged customer ahead of me in a store. Unreasonable business associate. Nothing that a good chuckle can't cure.

If you pay attention, you can learn a lot about people. Some of it is obvious. Some of it is bizarre.

Now, about the obvious: Everybody has a name, and everybody can relate to names. As a person who talks but especially listens a lot, I run into unusual and quirky names often. Santa Claus, Jesus Christ, Candy Cane, and Fruity McGill are among the people with odd names that I have met.

No way? Have you ever checked out the tattoos that people have? Each and every one them says something interesting and/or strange about that individual.

Why can't a name have the same purpose? Anyway, this book has taken most of my life to write. I have written down the person's name and verified it later.

No name has been incorrectly reported in my fierce quest for accuracy. I have learned that there is not a person alive who does not have or know somebody with a name that is atypical or weird. The waitress at my favorite diner is sure to remind me that her name is "Bippie", and if I get it wrong and call her "Mippie" or "Blimpie", I may find a fake fingernail in my lentil soup.

Not really. She always does a professional job! I met this wonderful woman named "Luna".

Her whole life, she was tormented by this first name. But worse, she hated that she was not given a middle name. While growing up, she would pin imaginary middle names on her bedroom curtain quite often.

And, when she turned 21, she legally gave herself the middle name of "Delight". Now, the pronunciations may not be what some people might expect, but the spelling is what matters. For instance, "Moron" may have a Spanish or even a French pronunciation that we would not initially expect which is better than the "I am a dumbass" related pronunciation.

But, the spelling is the same. A part of the inspiration for the book is a custom-made license plate that I saw while walking on a lonely street in a city where I resided at the time. It said, "MORON".

Is that how that person wanted to be labeled and known? What was the thinking behind giving one's car, and hence oneself, such a name? Or, was thinking even possible in this case?

I, on the other hand, do not want to look stupid. Silly, outrageous, sarcastic, thorough, and funny are much more my style. And, it was not long ago that I found a sign outside of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania that said "Shit Creek".

Does anybody want to go fishing? Now, what inspired this whole book even more, however, is my love of movies. I saw Meet the Parents, in which the main character, played by Ben Stiller, is named "Gaylord Focker".

I learned that Jim Carrey came up with this name only for one of the producers to come to believe that there actually are three Gaylord Fockers in America, or at least this notion is what he believed. (I do not think that he researched this suspicion well.) In fact, the producer was wrong, or at least, I see no evidence of it. Nobody really has or had that name in real life.

Everybody makes mistakes, even producers of hilarious movies. He will remain nameless. It is only fair.

Ha ha! Anyway, it was just too much──the combination of the name "Gaylord Focker" and seeing bizarre names on an infrequent basis in my social life and business life──that propelled me into the huge research project that evolved into this delightful, irreverent, and funny, but even somewhat educational, book. Not too educational, however.

Let's be real. This book is the paper or computer wire version of the fart. It is nothing groundbreaking, brilliant, or special.

It doesn't even smell good. Still, you can believe me: you will see people in a different light


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